having a bad headache and not improving mood at all....WUARRHRH...!!!!
im SICK of doing this final project, just as i am always sick of doing projects towards the end of the process.. NOTHING is EVER good enuf, and EVERYYYTHINGNGGG is bad. COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
what irks me most is the freaking double standards...why others are doing the exact same thing but dont get flamed, while i get all the flak. why others can do this but i cant. i know everone's work are different, but the same principles and philosophies should apply to everyone! why only me hah? its not like i dont do work. I FREAKING DO WORK OKAY, YOU TWAT!!!!! i freaking commit and i freaking think im not the worst in the class but why the freaking hell do you make it as if i am? whats ur problem!!!!
ive examined myself, and i tell myself to be open to constructive criticisms. but when you single me out and make it as if im the only one making that mistake, while others can do the same and you just ignore it and say they're doing fine.....WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!!!!!you cant even explain properly when i ask whats myyy problem...you just fling ur hands around and say in an exasperated tone that you dont know how to explain. if ur verbal skills and self expression is so FREAKING poor, why the HELL are you in this particular job!????and showing off how you can spell the word 'why' and 'next' and short words like that is so freaking not cool, and so freaking annoying, and so freaking stupid!!!
two words for you. screw you. who else would walk out at 3 in the morning to 7-11 to stock up enough food for me to last the entire week?only you.
appreciate you so much, for this, and for a million other things you do for me.
well tonite, i wont be hungry.
 | wee~ | Apr 10, '09 2:26 PM
for everyone |
on a happier note...
holiday plans are resumed...yeay girls i cant wait to go to penang wit you all! and alvin too of course! tee hee!! meet you there, lan? wa wee woo!!!
and best part?world class dive site sipadan sibuan mabul all waiting for me!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU dylan for making this possible~
and the bestest part! going back home to mommy....  im starving.and i just had a terrifying ordeal.
today is good friday. no biggie to me, except that it was a possible excuse for me to skip class and not face the music for not doing enuf work (but i went to class anyway. verdict: dead).
tonite, there's gonna be an event at city harvest church.easter thingy which im still not very sure about. invited to attend by dearest housemate shenesse.
city harvest church is so uptown-ish.everyone dresses up to go there every sunday/saturday/special occassions. nothing of the dull, prim and proper, boring stuff you get in an RC church in kk (no offence). everyone at city harvest church seems to be hip, sassy, rich, famous. haha...i wonder why people of that sort tend to converge in that particular church.
so in order not to stand out and draw unwanted attention to myself by being boring casual me, i sought out my fanciest top to go with my nice black jeans that dyl and i bought, and tried to dandy up myself as best as i can. top ok. hair, fairly ok. jeans, ok. shoes? not even thinking about it yet. face? hell no not okay. so i slathered on as much chemicals the skin of my face can hold in my vain attempt to hide my unsightly pimples in the hope that i dont look like i have measles or chicken pox or anything contagious. i dont want to scare people. then i laugh inwardly as i clumsily drew a black line across my eyelid and dabbed on eye shadow hoping against hope it didnt make me look like a sleepy racoon.
oh what an ordeal! after all the effort, i dont think i look any better! gawd i hate functions like these. i never feel good being in places full of sassy swanky pretty people. T.T
now i seriously miss the time when i can pull on a green stripey roxy shorts and a super comfy super simple tshirt and get going.none of those makey-upy bussiness! i'd go out, pimples in full view, unruly and tangled hair, and still told by dyl that i look fine. even if i really didnt look fine, the whole world revolves around the two of us, and no one else really mattered, much less what they thought of my appearance.
oh the pains...im still feeling one sick layer of skin-colored goo on my face, signs of pimples still lurking just beneath, still visible...in my uncomfortably-prickly-grey-lace top, waiting for ck to arrive and pick us up.... another nite in which it suddenly, really, occured to me how much i value my friends. it's so subconscious i never even realised it. but tonite is another affirmation of how much i treasure y'all. In my whole life, i've never had a holiday that lasted for 5 months plus. the period of time between graduating from secondary school and starting foundation in college duznt count! that's not holiday, that's 'measure land' (mandarin).
SO!!! the ultimate holiday is only a month away!!!! 5 months of NO assignments, NO deadlines, NO tutorials, NOT having to deal with certain annoying ppl in college, NO boring classes, NO presentations, NO staying up late working my ass off, NO lousy foor from Ah Keong's cafeteria...etcetcetc..ahhhh..bliss!!
what do i have instead?? MORE time to learn more of photoshop, illustrator, indesign etc. MORE time to spend with the IAD gang of buddies MORE time to spend with Dylan MORE homecooked food at last MORE chances to get out and experience the world!!!which really means: TRAVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im damn excited la...
first stop!!!!!!!! the island of infamous crazy law abiding citizens!!!
then back to good old infamously rude, messy, dirty, polluted kuala lumpur...then UP to PENANGNGNGNGNGNGNGNGNGNGNGN home to a certain KK-hater...
then back to dirty annoying messy rude kuala lumpur...THEN!!!!
okay so i havent even finished gloating about my holiday plans...i wrote this just now in the evening then had to go out with bro for dinner. who knows, now that im back, im not so sure this is all gonna happeN.
WTF!!!!!!!!!!?????????????!??????????????? | zzz | Mar 23, '09 3:53 AM
for everyone |
i hate thinking of titles for blogs..haha..never know what to name them.
yesterday was a very nice day for me. for the first time in a long long time dyl and i managed to wake up early on a sunday. 7am. too damn early for me! rushed for the bus to genting and phoomp before we knew it we were walking around genting. didnt go for the theme park rides (on a budget) but still had good fun. nice sunny but cool weather there. had some good old fashioned arcade fun too! then before we knew it phoomp! we're back in One Utama...went to the curve from there and bought 200 bucks worth of stuff from IKEA...now i can sit in front of my computer desk typing and scrolling around while swivelling around in my chair. good exercise! kekeke...
but the main reason why im blogging today isnt to talk bout that..just thought i'd record down what i did yesterday..just for the heck of it..
i was surfing through my friends' blogs after i came home from a long day at college just now...and i came this friend's blog. it wasnt his/her blog that got me worked up, it's remembering what another friend told me bout wat this friend said once...(k wat a long confusing intro to what i actually want to say, below)
im sick and tired and pissed and annoyed and irritated and exasperated by west malaysians who think they are so0o0o0o better off than east malaysians. i even met ppl saying that west malaysia is malaysia, while sabah and sarawak is sabah and sarawak, not part of malaysia. dude..did you go thru secondary school? or even primary school? did you just come out of ur cave?sabah and sarawak IS part of malaysia you moronic ignoramus. then there are those who think that sabahans/ sarawakians all live in jungles and kampungs. EXCUSE ME!? fyi sabah was once the richest goddamn state in malaysia, but no thanks to good for nothing maggot-politicians from WEST malaysia, all the wealth was sucked out of sabah and funneled into goddamn west malaysia. your flashy putrajaya? your almighty capitol city of kuala lumpur? funded by sabah's money larh wtf! before you even think of insulting us by ASSUMING we actually live in backward kampungs and think so high and mighty of urself cuz you come from an oh so advanced capital city, why dont you reflect how your nice highways and flyovers and flashy high rises and so called advanced technology could have been, and rightly should be in sabah instead. and oh no you stupid good for nothings, we DONT live on trees and we DONT go to school by cow or sampan. admittedly we are not some wealthy advanced high tech state, we have our share of slums, we have our share of kampungs, but dont you all??plus side we have our world famous mountains, we have our world famous rainforest heritage site, we have our world famous islands. we're not so bad compared to you all you know.
some people are so blatantly ignorant of their own stupidity that when asked whether they come from sabah, they deny it vehemently and say something like 'do i look like im from a kampung?'..well i have this to say to you. go back to your concrete cave and screw yourself.
    photo source: email ...tinate.
procrastinate. is what i am VERY good at. im an expert in it. if there ever is a phd in procrastination, i ll be the first one to achieve it.
i start doing homework recently at what time...? 12.....12am. WOOOOOTHEFUUUUK....
and what time i sleep?.....3?4?5am. double the wooothefuuuukness.
arh im screwing up!!!!
gegegeh...unrepentant tho!! gegegeh... my brother jon (jon, not john, it's jon. which is way cooler than john) sent me four starbucks drinks today....
...in facebook.
my brother is so into facebook all of a sudden..he checks out all the applications he comes across, and competes and beats me at vampires. -.-"
so after coming back from group meeting today, i logged on as usual to facebook and msn. there he is, facebooking away and suddenly jumping three ranks up in Vampires...what!!! he was one rank below me previously!!!! what happened!!! arhghhgh!!!  (dunno why my pic so small....)
then after receiving the four starbucks drinks he sent me, i started drooling...they look soooo yummy!!! jon and i fell for their gimmick! we were actually convinced to go for starbucks drinks after playing its application!! omg!!
so at 8pm something, jon comes all the way from cheras where he stays to pick me up and go to cp for dinner at very jinjang-ish kopi bar for nasi lemak and hainanese chicken rice. jon didnt wanna touch my chicken rice cuz he said he had too much of cooking it before. two chickens per day, so he's pretty much sick of them. ehhe...dinner was not bad...the place was okay albeit a bit jinjangy for jon's liking...
we were so full with dinner and tea but we headed for starbucks nonetheless! we came for starbucks anyway!hahaha....he had caramel frap, i had chocolate cream chip frap, both topped with fluffy whipped cream. i was happily licking up whipped cream when he commented on how the whip cream has 'split' already (the fat and oil separated cuz its not fresh edi), being the chef that he is...ahhaha...
we made sure we took pictures of ourselves and our yummy drinks to post on facebook for mommy to see...she's always so happy to see picture updates on facebook! haha..i guess mommy enjoys facebook very much too, though she's not much into the applications.
never trust a skinny chef
wow we talked so much! ranging from his work as a chef, to his friends' work as a bodyguard, to horror movies (talking about ju on was painful....remembering horrifying images that stuck to me since i was around 14 years old was not very pleasant) to career networking ("never burn bridges behind you" he said)...
ahhhh..what a pleasant carefree nite! love jon-boon much much! miss jeff-boon and sam-boon too.
waaah happy happy happy!! location, classroom 501.lecturer: ms jinchi guest lecturer: mr yuen. topic: international typographic style.
k first of all, im so effing proud of myself for being (seemingly) the only one in my visibility range to take down notes during history of graphic design class. to imitate eric and kamann's style here: *applause applause* *wave* *wave*.
second of all, im ashamed for not spending quality time on my group project. im here blogging when i should be doing work for tomorrow's group meeting. screw it.
today's lecture topic is my favourite to date. international typographic style@swiss design@swiss typography@swiss school wtf so many names.
not going to write a lengthy explanation on international typographic style, which mr yuan likes to shortform to ITS. just want to record down some of mr yuan's and ms jinchi's point of view and some questions raised, and my understanding of today's lecture.
but then a little background info is due. ITS emerged in Switzerland in the 1950s but became popular in the 60s and 70s. The style is very neutral and universal. what do i mean? its not aggressive, yet it's dynamic. it doesnt represent solely of one culture, but it has a distinct identity. you cant tell what culture it represents, but when you see an ITS design, you'd know it's definitely ITS. the design is very straightforward, clean lines, functional, legible, coherent. they use only photography and sans serif fonts and very minimal colors, usually black or white with another solid flat color.
what is the rationale behind these 'rules'? this style emerged after the second world war, and everything was still chaotic and disorderly. confusion reigns. the swiss designers saw a need to come up with something that is clear, defined, easy to understand, functional, thus the clean lines, the simple colors, and the no-nonsense sans serif.
the style was strongly influenced by other modernistic movements:
De Stijl for its grid system (a grid is a system of lines designed to guide the placement of images and text) because the grid system introduced order and clarity into the artwork.
The Russian Constructivism for its celebration of the age of machines, and ITS adopted its characteristic colors of black and red, the colors of revolution.
The New Typography. why? i didnt catch what mr yuan said on this and i forgot to ask after the lecture. haha.
and finally, the Bauhaus for it's philosophy of 'form follows function', where an image or a form is included in the artwork not for decorative purposes, but with a function, such as to lead the eyes to the text, or to give a certain impact.
so i asked mr yuan. heck...ITS is just ripping off ideas from all these art movements, so what is originally from ITS?? ms jinchi said that most art movements emerge from a unity of different ideals from other different art movement, ITS is no different. ITS is the manifestation of the different ideals of De Stijl, Russian Constructivism, New Typography and Bauhaus. therefore in my interpretation of that explanation, it is a collection of ideas and formed into a new art movement to benefit or suit the contemporary culture/social/political climate. "appropriation", mentioned mr yuan.
after the lecture mr yuan deviated from the topic of ITS and shared with us his two cents regarding graphic design.
graphic design is a language, therefore intimately related to culture. food for thought.
word and image reinforce each other. food for thought
are you, as a designer, concerned about the social and political climate? do we just design what other people design, or are we sensitive to the issues around us in our designs? food for thought.
also mr yuan and ms jinchi touched on an issue twith new up and coming designers and design students these days. with the convenience of computers and the wondrous creation of programs like Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, In Design bla bla, we lack the basic ground knowledge and skills many learning designers had to study during 'those good old days'. They had to pain stackingly draw and measure each line in a grid system, had to process the color that was to be printed, had to develope their own photographs. We on the other hand, just exercise our index finger and occasionally the middle finger. there is a void that should be filled with the basic knowledge of manually working on the artwork. Because everything is computer generated these days, we lack sensitivity in our work. we are unable to generate greater works of art and design because of that void.
this echoes what my uncle, an artist, told me once. nowadays designers mostly generate computer graphics. every effect, every pattern, every color, is generated using the computer. the manual way of working on a piece of artwork - to actually process every element of your artwork, be it from composition, color, typography, photography - is dying out. therefore the computer generated artworks may look splendid, may have the style of the particular designer, but it lacks a certain individualistic touch. it is cold, it lacks the intimacy only manual work can give. there will come a time when the design industry is so saturated with these cold emotionless computer works that people will look to something from the past: manual, hands on work. if you are a designer who learns the basic crafts alongside the modern techniques, at this point of time, you are the most valuable.
if you reached reading here...wow.haha..i bored myself silly reading this post. didnt include pics for reference and easier understanding of what i just wrote, cuz its 2 something in the morning and im so lazy.
its march. MARCH. i got a shock when someone told me in class its march already. augustine laughed at the shocked look on my face. WTF ITS EFFING MARCH!!!
my mom has facebook and uses msn. i fed her to my brother in the vampires application.random fact.
wtf its march. i cant seem to stop blogging all of a sudden. fourth entry in one nite? lan i hope ur happy. aha i rather thought my way of handling the situation in front of a table full of merry friends was inappropriate. my feud on the phone was in full view in full volume of the friends around me. but i didnt want to walk away to a quiet place, i think i might have broken down if i did. my apologies. back home, there's a void. their happy laugther still rings in my ears, as does his angry voice. funny how an absence is so much noticeable than a presence.
there's work to be done by tomorrow.
there's shower to be taken (smell of food in my hair!).
there's messages to be sent.
yet im sitting here staring and typing, feeling the void. i thought it was difficult to get off the phone and put on a happy face right away at hp's bday dinner. i was wrong. it was so easy to laugh with friends. shenesse loaded food into my bowl, kwan talked to me bout spring onions in the porridge, cayenne and ken tried their best to clean off food stuck to their teeth, rachel sighed when her fishball bounced off her plate, adeline imitated shenesse's spitting and gargling sound. i cried, not because i was sad, but because shenesse and i were hilarious when we took vain pictures of ourselves. i shouted not because i was angry, but because i was indignant that ken pushed my head down the moment the photo was taken. i sat and stared not because i was distant and moody, but i was reflecting how friends are so important in my life. they may not know my deepest secrets, my fears, my worries, they may not pay attention to my woes, but i dont need them to. i just need them to laugh, to cry tears of laughter, to forget the bad things, to remember the good things - with me. their silly banter and cold jokes and goofy actions are antidotes to sadness and frustration and hurt. i cannot imagine losing my friends. i may not buy presents for their birthdays, i may not take care of them while they are sick, i may not be able to help them with their troubles, and i may not say this to them: but i love them nonetheless.
happy birthday, hoay phing! i woke up feeling slightly lonely. another long day alone (no class)...wonder if i should go to cp or 1u to print my photographs for friday's presentation. i got online right after i wake up ( it's what i normally do when i dont have class on that day) and saw my favourite friends online too..they seem to be very sien today, as opposed to the loud laments they posted on their nick message last week. so hey! why not ask them to accompany me to 1u to develope my photos (way cheaper than cp) and then watch a movie together!? it's a great chance for me to hang out with my 'long-lost' buddies...!
met a nice taxi fella (mr lee see lin was his name..dunno why his name stuck to me...prolly cuz it sounds kinda like the hakka obscene word). dropped my photos off, and went to watch a greaaaaaaaaat show - - benjamin button. highly recommended. soooooooooooo gooooood to be watching a movie in the cinema with my buddies again... walked around then headed back home. I was feeling hot and sweaty as i reached my room and thought it would be nice to finally go JOGGING!!! wooooooooo!!!! so i ran for about half an hour only, just 5 or 6 rounds at the playground park behind cp...good to be exercising, feel good to be sweating so much. AWAY AWAY, TOXINS IN THE BODY~wha just a short exercise, oso feel damn tired. so unhealthy. felt lonely while jogging tho....the park was full of ppl - guys playing basketball and soccer, girls and guys rehearsing their cheerleading steps, lil kids playing at the swings and seesaws, and other joggers. and also a bunch of stupid looking guys on motorbikes. what..they think they so cool ah park their stupid cheap motorbikes in the middle of the jogging track and just idling around there smoking..wtf......sisa sisa masyarakat.
then after a quick shower headed off with cayenne xin hui adeline and zoey and shenesse for dinner at kepong! bah kut teh...kononnya the restaurant serves good food but turns out it was bad, service was worse, even met some dunno-say-wat ppl there too..wtf...but nvm~ had fun verbal-bashing the restaurant with the girls. then we weren't satisfied and didnt wanna go home so off we went to ss2 nite market (but not before cayenne gets lost and gets so upset with herself! chill la cayenne! hahaha..don kill urself or hit ur head again okay???)
aaaaaaa all in all i had a wonderful time..a blaaaasttt with my dear friends..love the girls very much..and yeah i appreciate you too alvin, thanks for sudi-ing to come with me to 1u even tho you said you wanted to do research for homework!
LURVE Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!! abomination: a person who is loathsome or disgusting. (google)
but the abomination im referring to is not WHO...but WHAT!
have you EVER wondered WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY the cockroach even exists!? scientists oh scientists, can you tell me what on earth is the use of cockroaches in the balance of the ecosystem and such stuff? whyyyy are they so successful..can someone PLEASE annihilate them from the face of the earth PLEASE!?!!?
(according to buddhist karmic beliefs)to be born as a cockroach ...you musta done something so0o bad to be so0o0 hated. *gasp* i ll be good!! please dont let me be born as a cockroach in my future lifetimes!!
last week one night, it was damn hot and stuffy in the room so i had to open the windows and let some fresh air in. manatau two...TWOO...DUAAAA!!!!!!!! cockroaches came in together like they own the place..wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there i was freaking out msging shenesse if she's awake to help me annihilate them (she's always been willing to help me out) but turns out shenesse was asleep..so no choice but to deal with them on my own >.< i was paralysed with fear. its a genuine phobia, im telling you. so i sprayed the can of ridsect (that i borrowed from shenesse ages past) like there's no tomorrow. gawd i can still hear the rustling sound it made as it died slowly in a paper bag where it tried to hide from my d-day ridsect spray. the other was still flying around and finally rested on the window pane and again, another frantic spraying and it went giddy and rustling around under the bed...i am still waiting for dyl to help me clear up the carcasses to this day...every night before i go to sleep remember that they are lying dead there all insecty and disgusting. blarhk!!
then tonite, another nite of demonic heat. i really had no choice but to open ONE window again and let in some cool air. was going to bring the dishes downstairs to wash when i stopped in my tracks. perhaps i should close the window lest another cockroach rogue should trespass my sanctuary again...so i went and close and lo and befuckinghold...there it was! buzzing around in that godawful brown...waataafaarrk!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! again, i was struck by irrasional fear. i called shenesse and demanded to know where she was...she said she was next door in cendy's house and shall sent a crew in to save me. while waiting for the 'crew' to come i managed to get the ridsect (almose emptynow!) and sprayed it to kingdom come. then called shenesse. shenesse said her crew (amos and william) wouldnt come cuz they were scared of the cockroach too..ngaaaaaaaaaaaaa...............................
so there, my horrifying encounters with cockroaches. ok so maybe not tat horrifying to you who don have anything against them.
to this day it remains a mystery to me whyyyy whyyy whyyyyyyyyy they exist. i never want to research about them and their existence lest i come across pics of them..nguhhrrhh...
this blog entry is giving me shivers down my spine. THE END ALREADY! actually no laaaa..walau..so vain, my title.
i lost steam to write in blog for some time now, until cayenne intro me her friend and he told me he was a fan of my blog. my dead blog, he said. wows..i never knew anyone took my blog seriously. it was always random stuff about nonsense stuff.
i was caught up with family, assignments, relationship stuff, that i didnt feel like taking time out to blog. but a lot DID happen since i last blogged. i guess so much happened that i didnt know where to start writing about, and ended up not writing at all...i also contemplated moving to blogspot, a lot of my friends are blogging there. i did set up my own page, but somehow it never felt like 'home'. im still more comfortable in multiply. i only hate how difficult it is to do a blog with lots of pics in multiply. so hard to load them up! how ah?
wow...i still don't know where to start...i guess what's passed is just best left as past.
now....FULL STEAM AHEAD!!! YOOHOOO~ im back. the first thing i had after i got off a long hungry plane ride (long not because of the distance, but because of the tediousness of the whole journey. air asia planes have FREAKING CONGESTED seats...its so sadistic!!!!) was my mom's homemade pineapple jam! what color is it? its pretty hard to describe...dark orange, brownish, golden...??and the texture is even more difficult to say...chilled, and fibrous?sometimes if you get a chunk of pineapple that escaped the blender, you get a chewy touch to your sandwich or crackers...sweet..sour...wonderful...~!!! mom bought the pineapples on the way up to kundasang one day...and the first thing that was on her mind when she saw the pineapples was "i can make jam for Bee for when she comes back!", my mom told me so when i sunk my teeth into glorious white bread with a generous spreading of pineapple jam... i eat pineapple jam with bread and cream crackers in the morning (if i do get up early enuf for breakfast) in between meals whenever im hungry and at nite when i watch tv, and into the wee hours of the morning when im hooked on chatting with friends and dyl online. pineapple jam is always there. hehe have you ever wondered why some sweets or drinks claim to be pineapple/apple/grape/mango etc flavored, and yet when you think how a real fruit really tastes like, it doesnt match up to the flavored sweet at all? i dun really know how to describe what i just said just now..i dunno if you get what im trying to say here. haha..its like..k say pineapple flavored candy. you taste it and you know its pineapple flavor, but when you eat a real pineapple it doesnt taste anything like the sweet rite? we just say that its pineapple flavor cuz the wrapper tells us so. it doesnt even taste like pineapple wtf!!! tats why i cherish my mom's pineapple tarts and pineapple jam. made from real pineapple, tastes like real pineapple. its real pineapple. did i mention its real?? | holiday | Dec 17, '08 2:17 PM
for everyone |
wow. holiday. first ever holiday this stressful. so hey im blogging again. been a short while since my last entry.. its 3am in the morning and im avoiding going upstairs to bed. upstairs is like a freaking warzone. haha...wtf..gunpowder smell keep wafting down from the stairs. glad shenesse is still online to chat nonsense with. and catch up on how she's been doing during the hols. miss the gang back in kl already. "i found it!!!!' says mom from upstairs. "where?" asks dad who sounded so relieved and delighted. great. a weight of my chest! so the accusations that were thrown around at my parents were totally baseless after all (i knew that of course, all along!!!!)..whole nite of raging just cuz of this stupid thing. great!!! glad i have dyl to be such a great support, most of all! so another war is ended. kind of. but another eventual war still looms by. mei2 wan2 mei2 liao3. the stupidity of some family members amazes me. | |
